The source of “true marriage healing” lies within the spiritual aspects of who we are. How do I know this? Because I’ve been to marriage counseling, and I have read all the self-help marriage books, and because, I did all the things “they say” that are supposed to help you love who you married. But the reality of it is folks, there is no magic pill or potion you can take, and there is no person, besides you, that is going to heal your marriage as it is meant to be healed.

He said, she said scenarios don’t work, and neither will finger pointing and blaming one another. We can brow beat our spouse until we are blue in the face, and we can continue to have affairs just because our marriage is on rocky times, and we can listen to strangers tell us how to save our marriage, but I’ll tell you what, it will not make us better people inside, so what good is all that for our marriage?

What we want and need for marriage is to be the person God intended for us to be so we can have a better marriage. A man and a woman marriage relationship is the four legs that support the marriage, and what you believe for your marriage is the root of how good or bad the marriage actually will be.

If you want to be a healthier person spiritually, and even mentally, you need to enhance the spiritual side of who you are so you can grow into the loving individual God wants you to become, which is the whole and complete person you truly can be! We all have certain issues in our lives that hold us back from attaining the spiritualism that I am talking about. What is holding you back? That is the question?

In my book, Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, I reveal what held me back. It is my personal testimony of dealing with alcohol addiction and how it stunted my mental and spiritual growth process, and kept me from loving others and myself properly. I was up there on cloud nine most of the early years of my marriage. I eventually came down off that cloud and grew up.

It is MY firm belief that to heal marriage according to how marriage is to be divinely inspired and healed, we need to fix ourselves FIRST! I don’t care what some of the self-help books say, I just know this to be true because I’ve been there! If our marriage isn’t good, we need to seek out the resources from the source that is going to actually do something constructive for the marriage, right?

Man himself can set forth a standard for you to follow based on beliefs of society and they may all seem so good and right but if they do not come from God what use are they, really? Most man-made principles come from God but have been twisted to fit into the standards of society, which can sound good and right. This takes great discernment on your part. What is right and wrong? How can you tell? Don’t let the world fool you; don’t let people fool you into believing what your ears want to hear. Look for the fruit. If there isn’t any, then what good is that?

“He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit” Proverbs 27:18. And in the same concept, “He who tends “himself” will eat its fruits in marriage, and whatever else he embarks on in his life.

If you originate from God, why are you looking to a mere stranger to heal your marriage troubles? God has told us what he wants for us to do for our marriage, but no one is following these precepts, not even those who call themselves Christian’s. If you are sinning against the marriage in any way, how can you really expect the standards of society to save you from yourself? Society isn’t going to tell you that being unfaithful is wrong, just as it won’t tell you what is good and right for your marriage.

Society created the things that are tempting to us and wrong for our marriage. Immoral behavior and imagery is shoved into our face every single day and everywhere! God desperately wants us to put on His shield of armor and He will protect us from the evils of the outside world. This is precisely why we need to fix our self FIRST before we can fix anything with marriage! We do this by letting God lead us not into temptation of society, but instead deliver us from all the evils of society!

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full body armor (figuratively speaking) of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” [Ephesians 6:10-13]

We ought not to stand proud in our sin, but rather put our head down low, and stand humbly before God ready to give our sin(s) to Him. Now, I certainly don’t know everything there is to know about the mysteries of God, and, like many of you, I am learning something new about the world around me every single day. Not a day goes by that God doesn’t somehow and in some way reveal to me something new to share with others.

I have dealt with personally many of the issues most marriages go through in a lifetime, and sometimes my marriage was a living nightmare. But I grew out and away from what was holding me back, and I managed to heal my marriage with the help of biblical principles. I didn’t learn how to be happy and content with myself by going to a therapist or a marriage counselor. And I knew that I couldn’t fix my marriage until I fixed myself first. I had to stop drinking, and start to be aware of who I was as a person and where I was in relation to being that person.

What is my purpose? Who am I? Well, I am a child of God. Well then, if I am a child of God, then my source for comfort, happiness and marriage healing lies then in the seed God planted in my heart, which needs only to sprout and grow. Will the seed planted in my heart grow if I go outside of God’s boundaries for the answers to my failings, and marriage troubles? No! I need to water the seed by staying within the boundaries of who I am.

One day I decided I wanted to understand what having spirituality in my life was all about, and eventually, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. His Spirit, the Holy Spirit is a part of my life now. This is not something anyone can just hand over to you. Spirituality is something that you go after and attain on your own and it takes time and spiritual effort. Your relationship with God (Jesus Christ) is unique and special and unlike anyone else’s relationship with Him.

True Marriage Healing is not made in a week, or months, but is a gradual growth process that husband and wife make within himself or herself. No marriage will ever be restored until “each” spouse looks at what he can do to change himself. Once this is attained, then and only then, can the marriage begin to be transformed? The big change comes through when we know who we are and what our purpose is in life. When we feel like our life has purpose and meaning, then we can start applying that purpose into our lives.

Many couples when they feel like there is no value or importance attached to their life, that is when they may go outside the boundaries of Gods precepts and search for substance through the establishments of society. The main objective here is for couples to change the way they value themselves and marriage and to help the marriage to grow in positive ways.

Who are you? What is your purpose in life? The answers are where you begin your search for the true source of marriage healing.

~~~

Angie Lewis is the author of Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, a book about love, life and marriage. Angie has written a new book, Love The Man Your Married. In her book Angie shares and answers comments and questions from married couples about marriage related issues that affect couples today.

The book involves all areas in marriage that couples need to know and understand and apply for a successful marriage. This book is a most reliable resource for married couples, from infidelity issues to complete forgiveness. It is my hope that all couples find and begin to utilize the biblical truths for their marriage by reading and studying this book.

If you value your relationship with your spouse, and want to read about positive ways to save your marriage, then this book is a must read! Pick up a copy today!

For more information on these books visit Angie’s websites http://www.spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com

Subscribe to get your FREE monthly newsletter so you can learn to stay happily and forever married! http://www.heavenministries.com

Whenever anyone decides to get married, one of the most important decisions is which guests are going to be invited to the various celebrations. For people to know that they are invited to your wedding ceremony, they will need to receive an invitation.

Wedding invitations are no longer a simple card in the post; they are a vital part of the wedding theme and without careful thought can really dent your budget and leave guests confused.

Wedding Invitations - The Basics

Wedding invitations must, essentially tell your guests the vital information such as where, when and the format of the event. Don’t get wrapped up in the detail and forget to tell the guests the date and location!

Be clear with your wedding invitations as to exactly what type of event your guests are being invited to. Is the event an informal affair with no particular dress code, or is it a party celebration that requires certain attire. By making this clear on your wedding invitations, you will save yourself many hours on the phone explaining the nature of your wedding; this will prevent any red faces on the day.

Make it clear exactly what will be included, can guests expect a full meal or will there be a buffet? If your wedding ceremony is taking place at a separate location to the reception, will transport be provided and what time does each ‘part’ of the day start.

Reply Style Wedding Invitations

A great way to find out the exact numbers that you can expect to attend is to create wedding invitations with an integral reply section. The reply can be a simple yes or no, however it may also be worth finding out more information such as whether there are any special dietary requirements or whether accommodation / transport is required.

Wedding invitations can be used, not only to provide a lot of information but also to receive information. As part of your wedding invitations you can also include information such as maps or details about the surrounding area. This is particularly important, as many guests use attending a wedding as an opportunity to have a short break, so include some interesting brochures.

Wedding Invitations - Clever Ideas

With weddings becoming increasingly expensive, the choice of wedding invitations can provide you with the perfect opportunity to save money, big time. If your guests are technologically able, why not go online? You could even set up a website with all of the relevant information and the option to reply online. If you choose this approach, make sure that you have the necessary security and passwords so that you don’t inadvertently invite the whole world!

Wedding invitations do not have to be elaborate; in fact a homemade version with a personal picture can be far more effective and a lot cheaper. Get a third person, who does not know the details of your wedding to proof read the wedding invitations to ensure that you haven’t missed out anything vital.

Finally, make sure you send your wedding invitations out in plenty of time for your guests to respond.

Elsie Gilbert offers great insights to different types of wedding ceremonies, wedding styles, wedding accessories. From traditional to the exotic she makes it easy for the bride and groom to review and choose. For more details on all types of wedding ideas visit this site now http://www.weddingfinery.com

X-mas is a great time to spend with your loved ones and each and every one of us it to end up being as wondrous as it is possible to be - a portion of festive tradition is owning a properly appointed dwelling to celebrate the holiday period. Disproportionately often people are cursed with awful baubles and lights arranged around a shabby Xmas tree. Why not look at the John Lewis website and inject the magic back into Xmas.

At 2 time the centre point of nearly every living-rooms is the Christmas tree - lovingly draped with X-mas lights, decorations and sweets, sheltering the numerous festively coloured gifts underneath; it is the first feature most individuals focus on when they walk-in-to the room, and for that reason you will almost defiantly want it to end up turning out to be spot on. Browsing the fantastic products on display now on the John Lewis web site couldn’t possibly be made any easier - elementary navigation on the left hand side and at the top of every web page makes the whole task of clicking through to the specific decoration you want to look at no trouble at all. Transform your tree into something special with Christmas tree lights from John Lewis.

It goes without saying that once you have picked out your ideal Xmas tree - joined by the ideal Christmas decorations to compliment it - you will certainly want to pick a scattering of Christmas decorations for the remainder of your residence. These X-mas decorations may possibly come in the specific form of lights, hanging displays or baubles to name but a few. Wading through the Xmas hustle and bustle to pick these X-mas decorations out could well turn out being a big hassle and the extra cost of delivering the goods added on by some other websites may well turn that terrific price you see into something more akin to what you could find on your local high street.

Don’t panic - at John Lewis you’ll not just bypass the hustle and bustle of the X-mas rush by browsing from the privacy of your own abode, but you will also receive absolutely free normal home delivery on all your orders - with next-day delivery on offer if you should be in a massive rush. Not just that but free returns are also available to you, so you can really shop in complete confidence. So why not let John Lewis help make this Christmas season a very special one.

If you are a woman who is lucky enough to be having a bridal shower then you will want to have a list of some bridal shower games. There are a number of different games that you and your girlfriends can play at your wedding shower. Remember, the simplest games are often the best and the most fun.

When you are deciding which of the bridal shower games you want to play you should try to make sure that they are games that everyone can join in with. Chances are that you will all forget the important event to come, your wedding, for the evening and really enjoy being together.

Bridal showers used to be a pretty formal affair with your guests giving you gifts to help make your wedding day special. Expectations have changed now and there is no reason why you cannot play some bridal shower games to get everyone laughing and chatting.

So, what are the best types of bridal shower games? Well, think back to your childhood and gain inspiration from the party games that you used to play then. Of course, you may want to add an adult-oriented spin to the games but the sillier the games the more fun you are going to have.

You need to plan bridal shower games that you can play comfortably in your own home and garden. Obviously, if you have a swimming pool then this can add to the fun but use your imagination and make the most of your surroundings. Even a simple game of truth or dare can have everyone laughing.

Get inspiration for your special day from http://www.a1-ourwedding.com where you can organise everything from your livingroom!!

If you’re like most people, you probably entered into marriage with a number of unchallenged assumptions in place. These assumptions may have been about what marriage is and entails, about love, or about your spouse. While you may have already bumped into reality concerning some of your assumptions, you still may be operating with others firmly in place.

Why should you be concerned if this is the case? Because what you aren’t aware of can blindside you down the marital road, that’s why. Life throws in enough surprises on its own, so you don’t want to be caught off guard unnecessarily.

The following misguided assumptions can get you into trouble in your marriage. Review them for a quick reality check:

1. You should always feel loving toward your spouse.

It’s not realistic to think that you’ll always have loving feelings toward your spouse. There are occasions when Lee and I are upset with each other and we don’t like each other very much. We may have to make an effort to remind ourselves of the other person’s positive traits.

At those times, we know that underneath all of our upset feelings we still love each other, but the predominant feelings we’re experiencing are anger and hurt. And it’s difficult to feel loving when you’re frustrated, feeling resentful, or harboring anger toward your spouse.

That’s when it’s vitally important to clear the air as soon as possible so you can be in harmony with your spouse and get those loving feelings back.

2. Love should consistently feel the same way.

Feelings vary in intensity over time. It’s just not possible to experience forever the ecstatic feelings that can be there when a relationship is new and you’ve just fallen in love. At that time, every sensation is ultra intense and heightened.

But the feelings associated with the initial or honeymoon period of every relationship eventually change. Love deepens and grows in different ways.

Of course, there are still wonderful high’s, but there are other feelings in the cycle of love that you also experiencea rhythmic waning and waxing of desire, the enjoyment of companionship, and the comfortableness of knowing someone well and sharing a history together. Love has many faces and produces a variety of feelings during a marriage.

3. Your spouse should just “know” what you need without you having to tell him or her.

It’s not unusual to feel that if your spouse really loved you, he or she would somehow be aware of your needs and desires without having to ask you. But in reality, most of us do rather poorly when we try to second guess someone else or try to “read their mind.”

This particular assumption leads to many hurt feelings in a marriage. “He should have known that I wouldn’t want to celebrate my birthday with his family.” Or “She should have known that all I wanted from her was a little understanding and sympathy.”

When this happens, spouses often erroneously conclude that their spouse must not love them or they would have been more tuned in to their wishes and needs. But the responsibility to let your spouse know what you need and want ultimately rests on you. Give your partner feedback and clues so he or she can have the information needed to make different choices.

4. If you really love each other, keeping a loving relationship shouldn’t take much work.

I’ve heard this or statements similar to this numerous times. But the sobering reality is that relationships always take a lot of work.

It’s a challenge to keep the communication channels clear of debris and residue from disagreements. It takes time and effort to follow up by checking with the other person to be sure that things aren’t building up under the surface and that everything is truly okay now.

This process can be compared to housecleaning. You can clean the house one week, but by the next week it needs cleaning again. It’s a constant cyclethe same is true in a marriage relationship. What you ignore doesn’t just go away; it stays right where it is, waiting for more dust or debris to collect on top of it.

5. Being married lets you off the hook in the romance department and sets you up in the sex department.

This assumption has tripped many spouses up. As a counselor, many times I’ve heard the statement, “But I thought now that we’re married, I didn’t have to do all of that romantic stuff I used to do.”

Often this is said when the marriage problems are already serious and the marriage is in crisis. It just makes good sense to take the offensive and make the effort to find ways to be romantic throughout your marriage. If you do, you’ll be accumulating those “good will” bank deposits or “brownie points” that Lee likes to talk about.

And as for thinking that marriage assures you of unlimited great sex without any extra effort on your part, that’s a fantasy. Emotional intimacy sets the stage for great sex and depends on good communication, plus a host of other qualities such as sensitivity and empathy, all of which take work.

6. Your spouse will speak up and tell you if he or she is unhappy in the marriage.

This is an assumption which has been the undoing of many marriages. The reality is that numerous spouses are uncomfortable with anger and are afraid that expressing it will damage the relationship. So they try to bury their feelings and pretend that everything is okay.

It pays to be observant and pay attention to your spouse’s tone of voice and non-verbal communication. It also pays to learn to disagree without attacking each other and to be respectful even when you don’t understand how your spouse could possibly have such odd ideas.

When you create a safe environment for discussing your real feelings, you increase the likelihood that your spouse will gain the courage to share from the heart with you. You can help this process by taking the lead in making yourself vulnerable by sharing your real feelings in a respectful way.

7. The commitment expressed in your wedding vows is enough to sustain your relationship.

The commitment you made to your spouse and marriage on your wedding day was certainly importantand it counts for a lot. But it’s not enough.

It’s all-too-easy to treat the marriage commitment as a one-time thing, when the reality is that a satisfying, healthy relationship requires daily commitmentover and over again, day by day. It’s similar to what individuals do who are successful in 12-step programs for sobrietythey recommit to their sobriety each day.

The recovering alcoholic may say, “Just for today, I’m sober, with God’s help.” The spouse with a successful marriage makes a daily commitment, also, even if it’s unspoken”Today I will honor my marriage and be the best supportive partner I can be.” It’s that level of daily dedication and commitment that makes the difference in marriages that make it and those that don’t.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.

When it comes to wedding music, there are some choices that stand apart from others. During the ceremony, it is getting more popular to avoid the traditional bridal music and use a chosen song of love instead.

People still are using the traditional bridal song too, but it is just not necessary anymore for those who want to be original or walk down the aisle to a song that best expresses how they feel about their nuptials.

When it comes to the music for your wedding ceremony and the reception, it is important that you consider your budget above all things. Naturally, you will want to have all of the music that you love available including the music that you want for your first dance.

Hiring a DJ can be the best way to go, but it is not the only way to go. If you must hire a DJ, there are a few ways that you can save money on it.

Saving on a DJ

For starters, you can look to hire an amateur DJ who is just starting out. They are eager for the work and will often cut you a good deal. You can find good amateur DJ’s at local school dances and sometimes just by asking local area high school and college kids about DJ’s that they might know.
Young DJ’s who are just starting out are also using modern technology like portable computers with downloaded music and this means that they can almost always get just about any song that you might want.

Young DJ’s are also more willing to follow your precise instructions for what you want to hear and will allow you to have full control of what they do. Many amateur DJs will also make you custom CDs if you ask them and you can give them to the bridal party as gifts.

To get the best prices from the amateurs, you can let them audition to make sure that they can play your wedding song and then you can let them bid their prices. You simply choose the best of them who has the best price.

Saving on a band

Many couples would prefer to use a live band at their wedding and reception. Live bands offer a special tone to the ceremony and it adds some elegance.

When you want to save money on a band, you can often find great deals when you look to local high school and college bands to get much cheaper prices. You can use the school bands to play music at the ceremony and hire a DJ for the reception.

You can also look to any friends or family members who play musical instruments to help you out. Just make sure that the band that you do hire knows how to play the song or music that you are hoping to have at your wedding.

Instruments like guitar, Spanish guitar, saxophone, and piano are always great for weddings and you can often find local musical students who will be willing to play a wedding for small fees.

Extra Money Saving Tips on Wedding Music

When it comes to the music that you want to hear at your wedding, there are some extra tips that you can use to help and make it just a little bit more affordable. Some of these tips are as follows:

• Hold auditions with young people who are trying to get some experience and let them come to you.

• Place an ad in the paper or penny saver that you are looking for wedding bands or DJ’s and let them bid for the jobs. This will have the different players competing for your wedding which will have them all trying to outbid each other for the chance for exposure. Let them audition and tell them that you are taking quotes on fees so that they all know what is going to happen.

• Use pre-recorded live music tapings at your wedding so that you will get he live music sound but without paying the extra money.

• Use a stereo at your reception that hosts various different mixed CD’s and plays them all automatically. Many stereos these days will play through dozens of Cd’s in a row so that the music lasts for hours. This can cost you no more than the price of the CD’s. You can also use CDs that you burned yourself from the computer so that you can get all of your favorite music

• A nice decoration for a reception is to make a collage of pictures of the bride and groom and their families.

Mia LaCron is the founder of Cut-Wedding-Costs.info - http://www.cut-wedding-costs.info - devoted to helping individuals live out the wedding of their dreams on a realistic budget they can afford.

The exact time when pearls entered the history books is unknown, as they were discovered long before pen was ever put to paper. 300 B.C. is one of the earliest written recordings of pearls. Marco Polo also wrote of pearls in his travels. They were prized for their magnificent beauty and natural allure by royalty and commoners alike. Pearls are the most natural of gems as they need no cutting, polishing or other work to bring out hidden brilliance. Except for the nucleus implanting, they are totally created by nature and ready to admire right out of the oyster.

Pearls pop up in early history as a highly coveted gem, revered by rulers of the ancient civilizations of China, India and Rome. According to Xhao Xi Gou, a writer of the Sung Period, the ancient Chinese “did not value gold or jade, but valued pearls for they were far brighter”. In ancient China, pearls were used not only for adornment, but also as currency. They served to enhance their owner’s image, imparting an air of authority and grace.

In Rome, pearls were assigned such tremendous value that entire military campaigns could be financed on the sale of a single pearl. The Romans ranked pearls as their most precious commodity. The Romans sent so much gold to India in exchange for pearls that a serious trade imbalance developed and the Roman economy weakened significantly. It was only a matter of time before Rome’s pearl decadence contributed to the decline of the Roman Empire.

Ancient Hindu writings refer to pearls as bringing longevity and prosperity. The writings also tell an ancient story of Krishna who brought pearls to give to his daughter as a gift on her wedding day. This Hindu story is one of the earliest known accounts of pearls and the wedding experience.

The ancient Greeks also believed pearls should be a part of the wedding. They thought pearls would bring love and all guests of the wedding were adorned in pearls. Pearls were sacred wedding gems given as gifts and the word “pearl” became highly associated with “love.”

Religious writings also contain references to pearls. Early Christian writings, in conjunction with the Virgin Mary and Jesus, speak of the value of pearls. The famous metaphor found in the Bible warns of casting pearls before swine, comparing the gems to something of value to be held close and not flaunted or shared with those who are unworthy or unappreciative of such beauty.

The Spanish used to force slaves to dive for pearls along the Atlantic and Pacific Coasts of Central America. French explorers found Native Americans wearing pearls. As crusaders, conquerors and Christians traveled around the world, so did the beauty and rarity of pearls. Because of the popularity of pearls from 1524-1658 it was known as the pearl age in Europe.

In more recent history, Iowa used to be the center of trade for mother of pearl buttons until World War II when newly invented plastic took over from the quality pearl buttons.

Brides, There is a New Choice

Brides there is a new choice when you are looking to plan that dream wedding, Anthony Chisom and his business Anthony Chisom Interiors.

Anthony Chisom is a Wedding/Event Planner and Floral Designer in Dallas, Texas that works with Brides on planning the details of their “Special Day”.

Anthony and his business Anthony Chisom Interiors is located at 2902 Maple Avenue in the Uptown area in Dallas, Texas. Anthony also has a website, anthonychisominteriors.com that potential clients may reach him through. The business location also offers one of a kind gifts, accessoreies and plants. The hours are Mon-Sat. 9am-6pm, or by appointment.

In addition to wedding planning, Anthony Chisom Interiors has also done floral design work for many special events including: John Vega Salon Grnad Opening, The Visual Arts Coaliton of Dallas 1st Annual Fundraising Event, 500 Inc, in additon to several others.

Anthony Chisom Interiors invites you in to select a special gift for someone or come in and discuss your plans for your upcoming Wedding or Event.

Anthony Chisom Interiors also believes in giving back to the community by giving ten percent of all profits to The John Philp Thompson Foundation for Brain Cancer Research.

Call us today 214-542-1626.

You have begun to plan your wedding and you want your wedding to be special and unique to your and your future spouse. There are traditions and superstitions that have grown around the wedding ceremony, the bride, and what the bride wears in particular. Let’s take a look at some of them.

Q. Does the color of the dress really matter?

Most brides wear white to symbolize maidenhood. White also is the symbol of purity and virginity. Cream and Ivory are also acceptable colors and they carry the same symbolism as white.

Q. Are there rhymes about wedding customs?

There are several but let’s look at just two of them. There is the well known 1. Something old, something new; Something borrowed, something new, and a six-pence in her shoe.

This rhyme talks about different color wedding dresses and what they mean.

2. Married in white, you’ve chosen right. Married in blue, your love will always be true. Married in peaRl, you will live in a whirl. Married in brown, you will live in town. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow. Married in green, ashamed to be seen. Married in pink, your spirit will sink. Married in gray, you’ll go far away.

Q. What types of dresses are appropriate for different times of the day?

A formal daytime wedding is when the bride wears a white, ivory or pastel colored floor length gown with a train and a long veil.

For a formal evening wedding, the bride would wear the same type of dress as for the daytime formal but with more elaborate train and fabric.

For a semiformal daytime wedding, the bride usually wears a white or pastel colored floor or tea length dress with an elbow length or shorter veil.

For a semiformal evening wedding a more elaborate fabric and trim can be used but the dress and the veil is the same as for the semiformal daytime wedding.

For an informal wedding the bride can wear a white or pastel colored floor or tea length dress. She could also wear a dressy suit. A short veil or a hat is optional.

Q. Why does the garter get thrown by the groom?

It was thought to be good luck to get a piece of the bride’s clothing or flowers, you would receive good fortune. In the 14th century Europeans gathered around the bride to try to remove her garter for good luck. In order to get away the bride would throw her bouquet into the crowd. The groom removes her garter and tosses over his shoulder to the crowd. The single man who catches the garter gets the privilege of putting the garter on the single woman who caught the brides bouquet.

Q. Do traditions exist in reference to the bride’s shoes?

One tradition said that the father of the bride would give the groom a pair of the bride’s shoes to symbolize the passing of the responsibility of the care of the daughter to the groom.

A bride puts a penny in her shoe to ensure that she and her husband will have good luck and wealth.

Q. Why is it bad luck for a bride to wear pearls?

An old superstition from Mexico says that the bride should not wear pearls on her wedding day because they are the tears she will cry during her marriage.

Q. What is the Dorothy Bag?

The Dorothy Bag was originally called the Dolly Bag and was carried by the bridesmaids. They were full of confetti to throw at the bride and groom after the ceremony. In more modern times however the bride carried the Dorothy Bag as a small purse with some personal effects. Most brides now carry the bag with a bridal handkerchief a penny or quarter and it is used to carry cards and money in, so they can use it on their honeymoon.

Q. Why is it that the groom should not see the bride in her outfit before the ceremony?

The groom should not see his bride before the wedding because it is believed to mean that the marriage is doomed. Years ago, marriages were arranged and the couple didn’t set eyes on one another till after the wedding ceremony. It was after the ceremony that the veil was lifted and the groom and bride were able to kiss which is the symbol of a beginning of a physical relationship. The reasoning was that if the groom saw his bride before the wedding and didn’t like her looks he might cancel the wedding. This had the potential of dividing two countries or regions because marriages were often between tribes or countries.

Q. Why do some brides leave the last stitch undone until just before she is ready to leave for the wedding?

This stems from the superstition that it is unlucky for a bride to wear her complete outfit before the big day. Some brides leave the last stitch undone to ensure good fortune.

Q. Do I have to adhere to any of these traditions or superstitions?

No of course you don’t have to use them you can make your wedding your own. It might be interesting though to look at your cultural history and see what superstitions or traditions might be unique to your heritage. The Celtics have many superstitions and traditions surrounding weddings and brides in particular. The world’s religions often have their own traditions, rites, or superstitions. If you and your future spouse have a different heritage it might be fun to see if you can use some from each of your cultures. This would make your wedding unique and probably fun.

When deciding on a wedding theme, most couples tend to lean toward the more popular ones: beach, western, butterfly, etc. However, by turning your attention toward an ethnic theme wedding is a wonderful way to incorporate your heritage and personalize your wedding day. Your wedding guests will also appreciate experiencing some of your wonderful cultural traditions.

Just as in any traditional wedding theme planning, you need to look at each aspect of your wedding plans and decide how and what ethnic traditions you can include. Here are some ideas to help you along.

Choosing Wedding Colors

In some cases, you can interject certain colors into your color scheme. For example, those with a Scottish background could use the colors of their tartans in their table decorations, wedding flowers and bridal attire. Couples who are planning an Asian wedding would look at including reds and yellows, perhaps.

Wedding Attire

The bride, groom and attendants should all wear culturaly traditional bridal attire for the ceremony. The guests will certainly love this, especially those who don’t know much about your culture.

Wedding Favors

Look about your home for ethnic house decorations that you might have to provide you with some inspiration. Items such as artwork could lead to handing out low-cost small framed posters or art work featuring your native country.

Bookmarks or music CD’s from your homeland would also make great wedding favors.

Ethnic Wedding Decorations

Choose wedding flowers and arrangements that would be popular for your culture. For example, orchids are widely used in Hawaiian cultures, while lotus blossoms are popular for Chinese weddings. Daisies and zinnias are suitable for a Mexican wedding.

Use decorating accents and props strategically placed through out the reception area that are appropriate to your culture to help bring the “feel” of the theme to your guests. Fringed table runners in deep colors would enhance an Arab or East-Indian theme, while colorfully small-beaded coasters would look lovely on tables for an American Indian wedding (these could also double as favors). Small African masks could be used as decorating accents in a variety of areas for an African-American wedding.

Additional Theme Ideas

It goes without saying that music from your native country is a must. Hire a musician for the ceremony to play a traditional musical instrument. Play some of this type of music during key parts of your reception (however, don’t play it throughout the whole night… a small sampling is best in this case).

If there are dances that are special to your culture, hire some dancers to entertain guests during dinner or to start off the reception.

Plan to have a small part of the ceremony done in your native tongue (preferably with a translator for those that don’t speak the language so they don’t miss anything).

For entertainment, include any interesting or simple games, if appropriate, during the reception.